Around Here

I loved that in the O'bama speech he promised his daughters a new puppy. It was the best of both worlds, a gift and an expiediency...every president has a pet, and now Big Daddy Barrack gets credit for his. Besides that jaded response, it was sweet to see his family standing infront of that throng in Grant Field (as Katie Curric reffered to it) in black and red dresses. I appreciated how Michelle's dress was a combination of her daughters, tying the family together. Michelle has seemed stern to me in the past, but on election night the full nature of her motherhood stood out.

What the hell, yer thinking, if I wanted to hear about Barack Obama and family I'd visit his blogg. So i move on.

Maybe the reason I am talking so much about Obama, is because of his message of hope. It is all we have left. Katy had her hernia surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago, and we've been scrapping by ever since. We've had help. My sister Laura spent a week with us and then as she was leaving we made a call for help to Katy's mom who spent last week with us. Kathy left on on Halloween, which was a real trick.

I have no idea how we've made it these last 3 years, er 5 days, without her. Not to talk just about me, but I was sick, Katy was half sick and half recovering from surgery, and Nyssa was bored crappy and wondering why we couldn't spend beautiful fall days outside playing. The thing is the wreckage of our lives just now seems like more than the sum of its parts. It seems irretrievable.

Katy is going back to work on Monday and Nyssa has learned it is funny to run away from you if you want her to do something. She has discovered that No no no no Noo, is a full service every day reply for anything. And because of Nana and Halloween she has discovered Cookies and candy.

All of that is fine, none of that is really going to change, but we have no energy to address it. What if Leila doesn't want to fall asleep at mid-night? What if Nyssa requires a 2nd or 3rd visit before she'll goto bed. Just about every night I look at the clock at 6:30 and think, "How will I make it till 8:15?" Nyssa's bedtime.

I Don't want this to be merely a list of complaints, but also, since new parents are not allowed to complain about all of their joy and luck and happiness I am sort of enjoying complaining.

What fascinates me is how different having baby #2 is from baby #1. From conception to till today they've been very different prospects. Nyssa has a Journal full of letters from Katy and I and Leila...
I was the one who read Nyssa'a positive Preggy test, and Katy and I were excited and euphoric from the get go. This time, Katy surprised me with a text message as i sat on the floor of my childhood bedroom...I never thought I'd be the kind of guy who needed to be "Told" I was pregnant. Who was so outside the process that I didn't even know I was being tested. And my first thought was, "There is no fucking way." No way it could have happened and no way we could sustain our burgeoning family. I had a million other thoughts too, most of them happy and full of good cheer.
I think I will love having 2 children. And I do love each of them right now, indidvidually. But right now, at this moment, they are so demanding, and their demands are so pressing that it is hard...That doesn't sound right. I loved having a new born. I love having 2 kids. I don't love having a child and a newborn. Things...emotions and actions...are so different this time around. The exhaustion I felt with Nyssa was bathed in a glow of euphoria. I have no glow this time, just an amazingly easy narcolepsy.

I started this post the morning after the election, (the picture above is of the "train of history" moving onwards...Nyssa and Kaitlyn in the Orange can) and it has been a full week without me finding the time to complete it. Everything is so fluid that my impressions change daily. I wanted this post to be about complaining and some of the horrid parts of parenting. I don't think it is. Although I am sure I complain amply.

They say that God gives you only the burdens you can handle. I don't know who Them is, but they were thinking of children. I remember this from Nyssa (Look how fucking cute she is!), trying and trying and trying to get her to sleep or to stop crying, and being at my wits end when she would finally and for no reason stop crying. Or she would be a whining and horrible child for 2,3,4,5 days and just when I thought, "You mean she's going to stay this way?" her tooth would pop through or she'd come down with a cold, and gradually her mood would improve. Well this process is happening again only it is multiplied by 2...I am convinced that anyone who has more than 2 or 3 children is a bad parent...You have 3 options. 1) both kids are crabby. 2) one kid is crabby the other is not. 3) both kids are happy or asleep. Obviously I am existing most of my life in the 1-2 zone. And I haven't even spoken about my house yet. Or my dogs...

We have a propensity in our culture to blame children for being children. I am not blaming Nyssa and Leila (well especially not Leila) they are just responding to their physical cues. In Nyssa's case complete and total boredom.

We had another weekend this weekend. We got lucky actually and it went pretty well. On Saturday we drove down to Des Moines to get Leila a fuzzy car seat cover. A wind proof shell and puffy fluffy fleece on the inside, it is really a slickster. But Leila had kept us up all night fussing and crying and now she was doing the same thing. She wouldn't really eat, and she wouldn't settle down. It was 10:15 and i decided to call the Dr. What a lucky break, for us. Apparently Leila has an ear infection and by 12:15 she was snarfing down her first set of anti-biotics. (Another way the 2 births are different for me is that Nyssa seemed like an instrament of perfection, a refutation to the idea of orriginal sin, and Leila is, well a baby...I felt bad befouling Nyssa, with Leila, giving her something like formula or Anti-biotics, while not ideal is not a big deal...by the way, 2+ years out and I don't think either of my kids has sinned)
Leila felt better almost immediately, or was tired enough to sleep the rest of Saterday and most of Sunday night. And Nyssa, who has been sick herself, started to feel better. She spent Saturday, playing with us or by herself (a real rarity) and Sunday trying to wake me up.

I do not know what happened, I slept well Saterday night. But on Sunday all I could do was sleep. I went back to bed from 7-9am, slept durring the 2nd half of the Bears game...and for 45 minutes after Nyssa got up while she jumped on me, and said, "Daddy no." and "Daddy sit up."
I sat up Sunday night, but still slept from after dinner to Nyssa's bed time. I'm not proud, just sleepy.

But I feel bad for Nyssa, cause I want to play with her, especially once her idea of playing evolves past sitting on my lap, kicking me in the nuts and jabbing her elbow in my ribs. I mean if Katyfullin wanted to do that...And look at her when she smiles, it is so radiant and so full of glee. And to think, some of that is related to me!

I was sitting on the big exercise ball that is 97% magic at getting Leila to stop crying, when the clock turned 10:00 and the West Coast polls closed. CNN announced the clousure and the screen faded out...faded in and I was expecting them to maybe award Obama California, but instead they announced him the presidental elect. I held Leila in my arms and Katy was walking down the stairs and I thought I am glad you are here for this moment.

I am an Obama supporter, not lover. But what struck me about last night was the rising excitement of the broadcasters and the sense of a new start with which the evening was infused. The Republicans are trying to say otherwise, but this was not a vanquishing of George Bush, it was a vanquishing of the party that had brought us 2 failed wars and a wildly oscillating budget...oscillating, I guess, only if you oscillate into an abyss. It will be nice to have JR. out of office. But no real change could have come by replacing him with another republican.

I have not been am Obama lover because it has been impossible to know how true he would remain to me. Up until yesterday the thought was it was impossible to be elected, much less elected President, without giving away your favors to big business and industry. Maybe nothing has changed today, and that would be a crushing loss. But yesterday we elected a man who seemed to stay true to his beliefs, attacked his attackers and looked to unify his constituents, and he did this while relying on mass quantities of small donations. Not none of mine. May that fact help him stay true.

What attracted me to Obama was his message of Hope. An elusive thing. We made a mistake 7 years ago, in the wake of 911 by proposing the oldest and worst solution to our new problems...by seeking only war we squandered all the good will the world was willing to express us. Near the end of his speech O'Bama said, "To reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope."

Obama knows in his heart that unless human liberties are shared by humanity, those liberties are frail. This is not something that Bush and all his Christianity has ever considered. It will be interesting to see how and how quickly Obama is able to correct the abuses of the Bush administration. A declaration against all forms of torture and violent coercion would be a nice first days work. Obama has the heart to do this, what will his head tell him to do. What will happen to the prisoners at Guantanomo? The warrentless servalence, the secret forgien prisons? The illeagal survalance here and at home? And these questions do not even begin to ask what will happen about those 2 pointless wars in Iraq and Afghanastan, nor how will he begin to mend all of the international fences that Bush43 bulldozed.

This country is too proud and to often too full of itself to simply say, we made a mistake, and if 47% of the populations could vote for the old guard and California vote 60+% in favor of Obama while at the same time abolishing Gay Marraige...then this country clearly does not understand yet how liberties must be shared by all and it will not be easy for Obama to see his way to make the clearest and most basic changes.

I.N.G.O.

I just got totally dissed

Here I am, sitting at my little desk, and Callae-lei says, "I am going to go ask someone who is actually helpful." And walks away from me. I had no idea I was supposed to be helping her. All I was doing was planning a blog post.
And besides, when have I claimed to be of help? I am not here to help. How boring is that. I am here...well maybe not in this exact intra-space...to offer other points of view. Those are very rarely helpful.

I am holding meetings today with the students from my Engl 250 class. The first two were uneventful.

I recieved a phone call from Nyssa:Which is nice. She is full service on the telephone. Not just listening but talking and laughing and repeating herself. You should call us sometimes and talk to her. She is much sweater than I am.

Last night Nyssa was sitting on Katy's lap and Auntie Laura was taking their picture. Katy said, "Say cheese a little longer." and Nyssa said, "Cheese a little longer."

Laura is out in Roland helping Katy and I after Katy's surgery. It went well, although KF is still in a good bit of pain. Laura is a big help, eventhough she did an entire load of laundry on Hot. I was scandalized.
Leila is much more awake, she is pretty easy to settle down, although it takes a lot of times of setteling her down. She likes to bounce on the big exercise ball. Last night she seemed to follow the rattle as I rattled it. She seemes to smile a little, sometimes. And not always when I am being funny.

There was a time when the weather was very much like this..., even last weekend, even...



But now the weather is much more like this:
And worse.

I only have a minute

It seems to be that way.
Things are going well, here in the Reeder/Fullin fan-space.
Well, here, nothing has happened almost 2 weeks. Sorry, but you get what you paid for.
Here is a list of people who sent money or gift cards.
No, I wouldn't do that.
We did just receive a Harry and David box from one of our most constant readers. Thanks.
And we have received money and gift cards for which we are thankful.
Also, cards and presents. Puzzles and cloths and stuff that I am sure I am forgetting. But for which I am thankful none the less.

Katy does have the ability to post on this site, and maybe one day she will. Who knows.

I have got to run to get some toddlers home for the weekend, so here are some photos.

I don't do requests.

Day 1

This event is so different from when we had Nyssa. Nyssa was a blur, I was exhausted and spastic and in the end I didn't remember anything. Yesterday, was a nice day. Pretty much we sat around and napped, I watched TV, and played with Leila (pronounced Layla), Nyssa came to visit twice. She was a visiting Champ! Although maybe not the most gentle champion ever, she is more gentle than most.

Both Katy and I were surprised by how excited she was to see BB Leila. Nyssa has been, for the most part, ambivalent about learning about the baby, hardly ever bringing her up, but yesterday she ran in from the parking garage. We'll see how long the cooling down process is.


So, the way it went down was that Katy was spitting out her mucus plug on Friday afternoon and we had a Appointment with the Midwife, who thought Katy would have 3-12 more days (she said 7-12 and then 3-4 after the fact) and when Katy said she was having contractions, "Oh, those are
normal they could go on for a long time." We went home had dinner with our friends Zach and Darci and their baby Oscar, and Katy's contractions were getting to the point where she could bugged her. They left, Katy got ready for bed and was like, "I'm going to have these contractions for 12 days?" and we called our friend Jess, "Would you like to come up and try a test run, because we are feeling contractionish, but the midwife said it was a no go for today," because now they were painful enough to stop here. Jess said no, but she would come up for waffles and hamsteak in the morning. We were like, lets see what happens and I went to sleep. About 45 min later Katy said, lets go to the hospital so we called Jess and told her to come up. She was so great, spending the night with our dogs and her dog on our sofa. And then spending most of yesterday playing with Nyssa. We wouldn't have been able to do it without her.

After only 3 hours of hot and heavy hospital labor we had Leila. Katy was a baby bearing champ. She doesn't know it, but she has a high tolerance for pain and discomfort. For instance, today she is already complaining about taking 4 ibuprofen, thinking she's done it 3 times and should now only take 2. I am really proud of her.

Here we are in the hospital bed, all one big family. What strikes me is how happy and excited Nyssa looks. I have seen lots of photos of her, and these smiles are genuine.

One palliative step we took was to have baby Leila give Nyssa a gift when she came to visit her at the hospital, so we gave Nyssa a wash and play doll. Nyssa loved the present, but was visibly confused about how Leila could have given it to her. She's tiny after all.

For myself, I have mastered the art of looking far more tired than I really am. as a way to get people like Sarah Muermann to feel sorry for me. Because if you can make her feel sorry for you, you can get sympathy from anyone!

Really, I am just happy to be here, excited to learn about what baby Leila is going to do and watch the relationship between her and Nyssa grow. It is my fervent wish that they becomes allies and friends.



And, because the technologies allow it so easily, a video:

3 hours old

A final photo before the baby came out. After this smile, everything came fast. Katy was great to watch, trying to be proper and polite while swearing like a docker.

This was a totally different experience than Nyssa's birth, which was an all day affair, where we were able to work out a rhythm and work as a team.
With Leila, Katy was so nausious and hurried, that she was more like a women you'd see on TV, "Gordon, brush your teeth." "Gordon, don't touch me like that...Like this!"




Just seconds after she was born, I've not even cut the umbilical cord yet.








































I take one quick nap, and my bloody and sticky daughter turns into a movie star. I've not yet held this clean darling, (I was only given the moister swaddled version) but I can't wait.










Katy and Leila are sleeping next to me, they are both doing wonderfully. Katy has been up and out of bed, she's eaten a little, and is in great spirits.
now for some video's


Oh! Her numbers:

Born 9.27.08 @ 3:30 Am (on the nose)
weight 8-15 Length 21 inches

She's a big girl, and already has feet about Nyssa's size.

September is the month of Birthday's. Most of Nyssa's friends have birthday's in this month,
here she is at her friends Tratin and Cainin's party at the splash park.















We never really dressed Nyssa in rosess and leather and took birthday pictures of her, however, it feels like we have been celebrating her birthday for the last 2 weeks. Those pictures are still on our camera, but I'll try to upload them in the next couple of days.
In the meantime, here is a photo of a cheerful and sweet girl who you'd love to give a present to.



















And now one with her mother, who is about to give Nyssa a present she may not want.















I really hope Nyssa is a happy big sister, right now she seems ambivilant at best. Nyssa really has a remarkable memory, and seems to understand a lot of what is going on around her. the topics she enjoys she returns to again and again, and she never really brings up Baby Leila.















But hopefully baby Leila will put the stars in Nyssa's eyes.

Everytime you goto a party you get a gift bag and every gift bag has either a pair of sunglasses or bubbles. Sometimes both.

We'll have to settle for some older photos

Nyssa is far more advanced today than she was when these photo's/video's were taken. She will be 2 in 15 days, and I have been struggling to decide whether she is behaving like a 1 yr old or a 2 yr old? Lets just say she bounces spasmodically between sweet as sugar cane and as whiney as aged vinegar.




Katy is in her final stages of pregnancy and everything is going well. She has a giant beach ball attached to her stomach, but it appears that her belly button will not pop out for the 2nd time in a row. She feels well, except for the indigestion, back aches and spasms, and spasmodic waffling between constipation and rapid release.



School has started for me, and i am also doing well, except for the indigestion, back aches and spasms, and spasmodic waffling between constipation and rapid release. Only mine wont be over in a couple of weeks.

I think I am really ready for #2 to show up. We have a name and we are announcing it to friends, and perfect strangers for that matter, but I'll not use it on this page until "baby sister" has decided to pop out. I am getting excited for her, I do not know how I'll handle the lack of sleep and all that, but I think I know I think it will be fun.

We've don a lot of the transitional things we'll need do to get the house and Nyssa's room ready for #2. Nyssa is in her tiny Big Girl Bed. We've stolen her changing table and dresser and moved them into #2's room, and gotten aqll of the Brown Bats out of the house. All the Brown bats that we've been able to find that is.



I do not know how to characterize Noodle Rose's feelings about Baby Sister. She knows she is in (and soon to be out of) her Momma's belly (so she understands the physical realities of childbirth about as well as I do...I honestly have no idea what goes on in there...which is funny, but Katy doesn't either and that is funnier.) She sorta knows Baby Sisters name, but mostly refers to her as Baby Sister. My biggest worry is how rough she might be with #2. If Noodle treats her like she does the dogs, then we'll need to have a mighty resilient baby.